#but man i do feel like shit im so tired | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thecherrygod · 7 months ago

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#my posts #trying to do the usual thing i do so that if you happen to see this post you dont read whah #what* im actually saying unless you click read more tags or whatever that thing says #idk if this is enough. it probably is. ive done this enough times and i still never know lmao #which makes sense bc i always do this when i feel like shit so of course i dont remember im not thinking exactly what the limit is #but man i do feel like shit im so tired #i went from feeling like a miserable piece of shit to being sick for a week and when i got good enough i went back into feeling like shit #i thought maybe it was done and over with but guess what!#im tired man idk.#i feel like anything else i may add to this post could make me reach the point where i end ip deleting the entire thing lmao #im just tired of feeling like im never doing better but also im pretty sure i deserve that #which like. i am aware its illogical but it doesnt make it better lmao #ive been trying to ignore the feelings these past few days and its not trully working also so uh. yeah #gonna keep using my phone for shit until i fall asleep ig

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naamahdarling · 3 days ago

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#i gotta go get my T bloodwork done tomorrow #which is fine but like #last time i was there the nurse was REALLY weird and they were pretty annoyed with me #because i hadn't come in for a long time #because life shit happened including breaking my ankle #and it's the same situation now but like so much fucking worse #and i don't want them to be assholes to me about it or about how i kind of miss shots quite a bit #like that's A Thing #it's a problem for me #but i don't deserve AT ALL to get scolded for it or treated like I'm doing something wrong #ugh i just have a chip on my shoulder #i know it has the potential to go fine and i am bringing backup with me #but EVERYTHING has gone wrong lately!#and if this goes wrong there is every chance it'll drive me to getting the stuff online and not getting bloodwork AT ALL #and I want to tell them that but I feel like they'd just be shitty about it because ultimately they may be an inclusive clinic #but they are still medical professionals and gatekeepers at heart and you can't trust medpros and gatekeepers further than you can spit #idk man I'm an adult just leave me alone to do my thing and accept that I will be in once a year for sure but no promises on more than that #i'm tired in advance #idk i just got the feeling last time that they were accusing me of getting my T illicitly and it's like bitch im not but even if i was #aren't you supposed to be a place people can be honest about their situations? am i not here jumping through your hoops to do it legally?#im doing what you wanted but the thing is I DON'T HAVE TO and if you keep acting weird im going to have to STOP #because i don't have energy to deal with my disintegrating life AND gatekeeping judgy bullshit #do cis men have to dance like this?

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ef-1 · 4 months ago

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🍷<3

#when i got hashtag sick i was in hospital and i was doing my regularly scheduled call with my dad #and i really had no plans of telling him bc ive done that before and its not like he can scare the MS away or anything #i dont know what happened. maybe because it was such a fucking bad episode. maybe because i was so tired. maybe it was a secret 3rd thing #but one minute was like fine then i just burst into tears and i was crying so hard which is MEGA EW BC IM NOT A CRIER LIKE THAT #and my dad freaked out and he was like whats wrong and i didnt wanna tell him but I also sounded insane bc i spontaneously started sobbing #and he was getting more alarmed and i was upset that id upset him and so i just spat it out i was like 'listen king'#'its no biggie but my body is trying to kill me again and im just a little sad atm' and he replied 'baba why wouldnt you tell me?'#and this man who has a very big serious job literally dropped everything and took a 20 hr flight over #and he genuinely just grabbed one of his work suitcase because he showed up with nothing but dress shirts and his laptop #and i think maybe it healed me a little. i mean it def also made me sad too but mostly healed me #and he'd been here for a couple of weeks and he left today and i feel shit about being sad about it #again because he has a very big and very serious job and i genuinely dont understand how he even just showed up like that #so I felt guilty throughout #anyway i dont think he drinks anymore but i was like king have a sip of wine with me and he did and it was lovely #and I hope I become my fathers daughter and not my mother's child. praying to both our gods #heres to healing ❤️‍🩹

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pleasedontcareaboutme · 3 months ago

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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him #I always knew he was a parental figure for me #but now I connected the dots #How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life #that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so #and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life #ofc ud become attached #i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him #he occupies most of my thoughts honestly #But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life #i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an #bloom and be free #and that's what ill try to do #but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness #its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired #somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea #how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi #g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if #lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways #sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay #yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le #go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk #how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate #my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t #me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol #so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest #y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t #ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti #ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd

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puppppppppy · 11 months ago

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adhd comix

#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired #like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability #and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors #i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working #isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol #if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you #need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid #im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher #to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll #go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms #AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis #theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were #comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run #and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make #a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!!#im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need #to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh #yapping #vent

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dizzybizz · 2 years ago

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a simple qif sketch page

#im so tired man aaaa #feel like i havent drawn qif in soooo long #hes one of my go to characters for scribbles tho #a fucked up little guy #i havent been keeping up with the manga since ch60?? i think?? but i do know that shit goes down and im too scared to pick it back up ahaaa #witch hat atelier #wha #tongari boushi no atelier #tbna #qifrey #fanart #my art #hes poor little meow meow to me #and malewife and babygirl #man of many talents isnt he #stuffs him into a piñata and hangs him up at a childrens bday party #hes one of those characters i get so violent about

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pilonciillo · 21 days ago

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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety

#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works #why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being #released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy #last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get #panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the #parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to #steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out #all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone #spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli #telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s #nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank #track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the #business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and #video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me #FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s #not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m #much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel #safe #OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she #got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like #that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s #crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull #shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to #mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told #me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check #key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS #allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no #consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way

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jrueships · 7 months ago

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pretty privilege in general is a terrible tool. but when the racism that it's ingrained in really has a platform to activate, it's just absurd .

#if ure a pretty white boy. oh my goodness. roll out the red frickin carpet to all the fame attention & feminization in the world #omg hes so pretty. pretty like a woman. hes just like a woman. lets treat him like an object #everything he does isnt really his fault. hes just a girl bcs hes pretty. bcs hes pretty lets make him cry #lets do a deepdive into his character & pounce or paint any opportunity possible to find a villain in his life that isnt himself #meanwhile a poc person is pretty & theyre get a compliment sure #but never like. a normal one #they can get treated like a goddess or a god yea #but like. one that imposes fear and distance. only to be admired from a distance #if ure pretty and poc then ure an artifact to steal #if ure pretty and white then ure a crisp blank page for ppl to doodle out all their fantasies and plans for u to fold right along into #bcs ure pretty just like a girl: usable.#shit is just stacks on stacks on stacks of stagnant thinking stacked onto sick ideals #idk man #maybe im just going crazy bcs i hate too much of anything. getting irritable & tired from feeling trapped #cant ever escape anything bcs the very existence of escape implies the threat of capture

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mystical-one · 1 year ago

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WARNING IM GOING TO BE HONEST AND EARNEST HERE. i really unironically unconditionally liked now and then

#like honestly i listened to it 2794288 times in the shower and came to the disgraceful revelation that like. oh my god it is a fucking beatl #es song and theyre 81 and 83 and 37 and 52 and theyre still ON the same song and fuck shit yes i get the solo is NOT georges and it makes me #a little upset but its still done in his memory and his style andthis is PAUL we are talking about and of course he is going to run away #with a project like this and going to do the solo but EVEN then he made the solo with george in mind and tried to emulate his style whether #it was an accurate representation or not they still care so fucking much. theyre the FUCKING beatles releasing music TODAY what the fuck #i will definitely feel different about this tomorrow morning but ive listened to this thing through on repeat since it released and buddy.#who care. like SO fucking much everyone care but WHO CARE!!!!!!!!! OLD MAN BEATLES YAOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TODAY IN 2023!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sorry does this make sense. like im a george defender until i die but i could heard his guitars enough to be moderately pacified and #honestly im too tired and excited and emotionally drained to care anymore. tjey tried so so hard to do something and they DID it #i have a much MUCH more nuanced opinion that i could go into. but i dont want to rn🙏🏻#emi's meandering jotts

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theprinceandthewitch · 5 months ago

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...The only response you should give to misogynistic men who insist "single fathers are better than single mothers in every way" is:

"I see... You're so right John. It's so clear to me now... men should actually marry each other! I mean, single fathers are much better then single mothers in every way, right? So, imagine the benefits of having TWO men raise children. We should transition to a system where men marry each other, men raise children and women can live as bachelorettes."

Watch the way the seethe.

#im tired of these misogynistic males with a hatred for life misrepresenting data to appeal to their audiences #they completely ignore socioeconomic factors and the fact most societies in the world operate as a patriarchy #women STILL get paid less than men who work in the same field #Captain Misogyny is just making shit up because he read a mean joke about men and now wants women to feel bad #I also ''like'' the narrative of boys and girls can become stable adults without moms but they are doomed for misfortune without dads #Okay Mr. Testicular Tantrum w/e u say...#lol men will be like ''men are soooo much better than women when raising children" and don't see how #they're blowing holes in their nuclear family argument #so are women necessary for raising kids or are we not and only men are fit for it. Make up your mind #then there is the other side of the misogyny circus who insists women bring nothing to the table in a relationship.#GOD you are so annoying. JUST MARRY EACH OTHER! You can do that now. Marry another man and shut up.

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fr00tbats · 4 months ago

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posted all these muppets i drew the other day and i FEAR THAT IF I SAY THE COMMONALITY BETWEEN THEM ALL EVERYONE WILL GET THEIR KNIVES OUT ON ME AGAIN LMFAO

#free my fkn man he aint do noTHINGGGGGGG #leave steve alone ill get the sword out #thats my baby 65yr old man but thats also i love him so horribly bad in a vampiric like shakespearean way #i feel so strongly about this #everyone was a hater lowkey on insta w this #my art #muppets #fraggle rock #frootbats #the muppets #deadass im sorry he didnt do shittttttt #im tired of this im abt to publicly enter battle over this man lmfaoooo #i cant know how to hear any more about how he sucKS BC HE DOESNT HES THE SWEETEST LEAVE HIM ALONE #me included leave him alone i need to not be a freak abt him #trying to turn whatever this is into how i feel abt wembley fraggle. incredibly overprotective for no reason lmfao #my friend met him this weekend and im so unwell about it #only pics ive seen of him recently where he looks like him thats an insane thing to say but his light is gone in a lot of pics w ppl #i feel so much for him and also jim and i literally cannot get into that bc i get ill abt it #i almost got into it in my video and i feel compelled to add some shit back in in a post edit section #oh my god his insta post the other day abt jim dont get me started im fucking sick #also idk what possessed me to draw marlon #im tinkerbell abt this man ive never had this happen so bad lmfao i dont know i cant explain i am drawn to him

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bare1ythere · 3 months ago

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I'm so tired of every small thing that my brain perceives as a social attack against me (which are 90% totally innocuous) making me feel like im being stabbed repeatedly in the chest. I feel awful, I can't handle this level of sensitivity anymore

#shut up me #theres no escape I can't even hide in my room forever because unless I stop talking to people AND seeing people post online #this feeling wont stop. I hate it. why do I care so much about shit that not only doesnt matter but straight up does not involve me!#and yet my brain inserts me into it directly into the line of fire #im tired of walking past people laughing on the street and feeling a pang of fear and shame every time that theyre laughing at me #because its just not true. that is not happening. what cartoonish level of bad person would laugh at someone passing by (and instantly?)#but no matter how much I parry the thought it comes back every damn time the exact same #and its like this with everything. im tired man #i just dont want to feel the Endless Shame anymore

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 1 year ago

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crazy how any mlm gojo ship is perfect actually

#stsg? classic. i dont need to say anything theyve ruined me for life #nanago? sweet n cute <33 classic grumpy x sunshine except theyre both repressed men in their late twenties what more could u want #sukugo? hunger as a metaphor for love <33 incredibly homoerotic <3333 just two men teaching each other abt love through violence <333333 #goken? … the forbidden option but im sooo weak for it ok. the longing the hatred the animosity #kenny killing the two six eyes havers before gojo … ending up in the body of the man he loves most …. being forced to feel that love #and gojo being forced to see his one and only’s body being manipulated. being forced to hear kenjaku speak in suguru’s voice #there’s just sooooo much there like im obsessed . peaked divorced couple energy #also throwing in ijichi x gojo for the lols but i do think theyre cute i just need gojo to start treating him well 😭😭😭#“you’re the man i trust most.” <- gojo pls come out of the closet im so tired of your shit #also if u want crackships pls consider; higuruma x gojo / choso x gojo ….. theyre sooooo his type #ari noises ✩

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solivagantingrebel · 6 months ago

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i need depression to stop kicking my ass right now

#im so tired #. and i slept the entire day #everything feels like it weighs 100x more than before #i would like to move normally again #i would. like to feel alive again #why am i having the worst day again ehay did i do to deserve this #i just want to write silly fictional people doing stupid shit #and not actively rot the more i try to breath #vent #i hate it here #dragged myself like a decayed corpse to my desk and i can't even lift my hands #fuck this man

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